Wednesday, February 22, 2012

SHE FOUND HAPPINESS



SHE FOUND HAPPINESS

“No!” Ana shouts as she wakes up again from another nightmare. She looked over to see if she had wakened up her to younger brothers Thomas and Cole. As a twenty one year old, she hated sharing a room with her younger brothers, but it was the only option since she wasn’t married, or even dating anyone.
 “Another dream muck face?” Thomas asked, while yawning.
“What did I tell you about calling me that Thomas?”  Ana hissed while turning back around. “Now hush up, and go back to sleep!” she said, hoping he wouldn’t mention another word about it.
 ‘Muck face’ was the nickname Ana’s father would call her when she was a little girl. Thomas was the only one who knew about Ana’s dreams she would have about her father, and how much she missed him. All he knew was that he died a few years after the world war. He always felt a little bad that he and Cole always had John, Ana’s step- father and their father. Ana’s mother Theresa, had met John a few years after his death, and married shortly after. Although, she had been living with them since she was a child, John was the only father figure, well somewhat, she had in her life. They were never close, at all, but Ana accepted him because she loved her mother dearly, and did not want to ruin anything between them, no matter how much she did not like him.
                The next evening Ana got up and ready for her evening job at Muddy’s. Muddy’s was the black’s only jazz café that she worked at as a waitress. Ana loved Muddy’s like it was her second home. The atmosphere was always filled with liveliness and excitement. Anyone who wanted to go out, have fun and dance, came there. It was always live performances by many of the young black-musicians coming up around Chicago. It was like Ana’s escape place from her real home.  It was a different setting from living with her family, being truly alone, and it had James Huff, the newest singing stride piano player in town.  James was a handsome black man who was always humble and especially nice towards Ana. He always seemed to find himself at Muddy’s because it gave him plenty of practice and perhaps an opportunity to catch a famous band director or musician. Not only was Ana impressed by his amazing talent, but she adored how humble and kind he was to others. Ana knew James had some type of interest in her, but she was just waiting for him to actually ask to take her out.
 “Help Miss Ana, how are you this evening?” James said walking her way.
 “I’m lovely, and you?” she said, walking to clean a table.
 “That you are.” James smiled back.
 This would finally be the night he was going to ask Ana out. Ana began to blush as she started to wipe down a table. 
“Thank you” she said.
                Three months later, James finally had a big gig at Muddy’s. Quincy Sharpton, the famous saxophonist had heard from around the area about James, and wanted to see for himself. James had heard about the possibility of Quincy showing up and was nervous. Ana and he had been dating for a while, and if Quincy was impressed, he would have to move, travel, and leave Ana. He didn’t want to go that route. He knew the feelings he had for her and decided to propose to her that same evening...
That night, Muddy’s was crowded. All the young people, couples mostly, had come to listen to James perform. He was doing so well, and Ana was so proud. She was even dancing and singing along while working. At the end of the show, Ana waited for James to tell him how happy and proud she was of him. James knew this was the moment. He opened up his jacket, and inside his pocket took out a dingy white handkerchief. Inside, was a small silver ring with a little clear stone. 
“It was my mother’s” James said. Ana was so happy she cried and took the ring. Things were finally becoming better for her. She was getting married, moving, and starting a new life.

2 comments:

  1. I liked your story and I thought it was planned out well. The structure was good and it went chronologically. You need to fix the grammar a bit. I was confused at some parts due to how you spelled and punctuated things. Your organization was also good. I could sense the voice in the story. I was able to tell how Ana felt and how others felt. I like the setting of the story also. You audience was apparent.

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  2. I liked your story, but grammar was a little bad. Your audience was clear, young adults in love. Structure of story was nice, each paragraph was all the same legnth. Organization was good too. The story went well in order. Overall just fix some minor mispelled words and punctuation.

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